i’m in a strange mood. i don’t know why. it’s been a long day, but i feel so awake. it’s three in the morning, and i want to go outside and do something. i wonder why i always feel like this in the early, early morning? i start to feel nostalgic for the youth that i’m still (supposedly) living, and i just want to go and make something of my teen years so that i’ll know that i didn’t waste my time.

i love the stockholm spring 2011 editorial with sara blomqvist and jeremy young because it reminds me of how i wanted to feel about someone someday and how i do feel now (albeit minus the perfect looks and the pose that probably wouldn’t play out well in real life). i’d never say that someone needs to be in a relationship to feel complete or fulfilled, but i’m so happy to be in mine! people have told me that high school relationships are stupid or pointless or not worth it, and i really don’t think that that’s true. it seems so detached to say that just because something has to end at some point, that something isn’t worth trying in the first place. even more so to say that people shouldn’t feel a certain way because they’re still in high school. maybe i just sound like every other teenager, i don’t know, but there’s something strange and wonderful about it all. no one else seems to feel this way, or at least they don’t say so, but the gravity of certain situations just hits me sometimes. i never expected this, but i guess it’s because it’s all very new for me to really have feelings for someone after having a few baby crushes in middle school. i mean, it’s not about eating lunch or holding hands with someone, it’s about experiencing things that you’ve never experienced before and trusting someone with your emotions and spending every possible moment with someone because you feel good in their presence. i probably sound so naive, and i promise i’m not, but things always feel so different when you’ve actually experienced them. sometimes you don’t even know that you have until you look back later.

#wisewords

i don’t know what the point of that paragraph was. but i rarely ever talk about my relationship in depth with anyone in my life, so maybe i just needed to put it in words.

i haven’t made a text post like this in a while, partly because i have so many people i know following me now. it’s so much easier to tell strangers about my personal life than it is to tell people i know.

Posted 2 months ago with Notes